New column - Beautiful Men, hiding in plain sight in Pittsburgh

Relocation

A tale of the places I have lived and how I got there. 

Like the majority of my friends from Allderdice High School, I knew I wanted to leave Pittsburgh. Some left for college (like me), some stayed locally and then left after they graduated. 

I went to Drexel University in Philadelphia - big city, in-state tuition. My dad drove me, it took about 7 hours, he dropped me off, saw me to my dorm room and unceremoniously turned around and drove back. I suspect he stopped in to see his good friend Mr. James Gohanna, who if my dad’s story is correct said something to the effect of, “You’ll probably be coming here all of the time to check in on your daughter?” 

My dad answered: “Well I had eighteen years, I trust she can take care of herself by now. If not, nothing else I can teach her.” 

My fellow dragons, Drexel not Allderdice, same mascot, confusing, knew Pittsburgh was in Pennsylvania, a small victory. But thought it was suburb or like two hours away. People in Philadelphia don’t know where Pittsburgh is and don’t really care.

But I am supposed to be telling you about my many relocations so let me get to that:

Philadelphia to New York City

This may not seem like much of a move, you can take a Septa to NJ transit and be in NYC soon enough, you can even take the Amtrak train if you’re being fancy. When I graduated from Drexel University in 1992 (now, now, I know I am up there, you can stop reading if you want, but I suggest you keep going), one of my best friends who stayed in Pittsburgh went to CMU, was moving to NYC. The idea was that she would drive a U-Haul and pick me up in Philadelphia. She had a house sitting job in Manhattan, which meant I also had a house sitting job by and we would have one month to find a place to live and jobs.

Word.

I had $100 or about $180 in today’s money to my name. For one rent-free month in New York City. That meant of course we still had to get around (subway, walking) and eat (one bagel, slice of pizza, or instant ramen a day.) 

To make a long story short, we did it. We found jobs, nothing spectacular at first and a place to live a one-bedroom in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. We did not look for rental listings, we just walked around and found neighborhoods to live in, then knocked on doors asking people if they knew any places for rent. It worked, I am still alive, that’s all I can say. 

I think we picked Fort Greene because Spike Lee’s 40 Acres and a Mule store was a couple blocks away. We were in New York City in the 1990s. It was as cool as it seems, it was not easy but worth it was worth it, I am so glad I did it.

Lesson: You’ll have to do leg work. 

New York City to Seattle

I loved living in NYC until I didn’t. The thing about New York, you can have these magic New York days when everything comes together perfectly: that case quarter IS a subway token (90s), the subway comes just as you walk to the track, it rains and you have an umbrella, the taxi doesn’t splash you as it drives by - just perfect. But they pale in comparison to the number of days where nothing seems to go right. That armor you need just to walk out the door starts to rust and feel too stiff to put on.

This happened for me by 1994 so I decided to move to Seattle. One of my best friends from college was there and she suggested I go there, I could stay with her and her boyfriend as a launch pad.

Anyway by then I had a boyfriend and so we decided to go for and drive from New York City to Seattle, which is still my favorite bit of travel of my life. We rented a truck filled it up with our little belongings and drove, stopping at family and friends places, camping sometimes, staying at motels/hotels, even in the truck, on other nights. 

No I had never been to Seattle, I have never been to Philadelphia, I have not been to New York City. This is also a theme. 

Lesson: When your heart tells you go, listen. Rely on friends to help. 

Seattle to Chicago

Seattle was/is the most beautiful city from a topographical standpoint in the United States. But it was ultimately not for me, neither was my boyfriend. I stayed longer than he did, not by much. The job I had with a nonprofit was opening an office in Chicago.  So that is where I ended up next. 

Meaning the company paid for me to relocate. I also had family there so I wouldn’t be left out in the dust or the lake, completely alone. The ability to move, the comfort of learning new roads, new subway systems, new cultures, new people start to become if not habit, not a hurtle. Then it becomes a desire, to explore - wanderlust. I spent two years in Seattle.

Lesson: When my boyfriend and I broke up, I had no where to stay. I slept on co-workers couches/guest room for months. Be flexible, everything is temporary. 

Chicago to Pittsburgh

I was based in Hyde Park, my apartment and my office. Yes I met Barack Obama, no I do not think he remembers. I see him again in Kenya, so if you’re bored you can skip to that part. 

Chicago was a longer stint, five years, I stopped working at the non-profit after about a year or so, when a company relocates you, there is often a time commitment expected or contracted. I would have stayed longer but there were sexual harassment issues with the executive director, many of the women left the organization at once, including me. 

My undergraduate degree was in business, marketing interested me. I did not look for job openings, I looked at the advertising trade papers and magazines to see what companies were hiring which agencies. I saw that McDonald’s was switching back to DDB Chicago as their agency of record or main global agency. I knew that they would have to hire a bunch of new people to staff up for such a big account. I sent my resume in, interviewed and got a job there. 

Tip: look for a job where there are no job listings, be you’re own agent. I also worked for a company in the early e-commerce days, when it was called e-commerce, I won’t name but it is still in business. 

I should also mention I got married three days after the 9/11/01 attack. Guest, flowers, rings could not come because of the grounded flights. It was a sign, we should have cancelled the wedding, we did not. We ended up splitting up in under a year. Which leads me to coming back to Pittsburgh.

Another tip: Follow the signs and the “signs” 

(Please note I am explaining years in a sentence or two) 

Chicago to Pittsburgh 

It was 2002, I started applying for jobs in Pittsburgh while I was still in Chicago.  I had left Pittsburgh in 1987 and had not been back to live (save a college internship) since, it seemed like the right thing to do. I was a Boomerang, I cannot tell you how happy I was to be back. I was going to make a difference, attract and retaining young people like no one’s business. It was going to be wonderful. 

What I found is that instead of wanting me to bring any of my marketing, public relations, brand development experience, the company I worked for just wanted me to implement ideas they already had, it was boring. I didn’t last long. 

Lesson: I dove all in and do not regret it, when it was time to change gears when I learned I was in the wrong place I was disappointed but not defeated.

Pittsburgh to Kenya

(I got this letter much later. But it made me remember that meeting in Kenya when Obama was a US Senator.)

I decided to go to graduate school because of my life long love of fashion and design was calling louder and louder.  I applied for and received a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholarship. I highly recommend it: https://www.rotary.org/en/our-programs/scholarships

I can talk all about Kenya but that is going to take entirely too long and this is getting long. So I am going skip some steps.

Oh wait no, I have to tell you about Barack Obama. So then Senator Obama was visiting Kenya, his estrange late father’s family and also exploring the idea of running of office. This was 2006. My friend Susan Linnee a journalist let me attend his press conference at the Intercontinental Hotel. 

As the conference was ending I wanted to be sure I had a chance to shake his hand. The conference was ending, he and his team was actually about to leave the room where the conference had been held.  So I yelled out,

“Senator Obama, I am from Hyde Park!”  (“From” see me, no shame.)

Obama: Who said that?

Me: I said it!

Obama: Hey come over here. 

So you know I did.

Obama: What are you doing in Kenya?

Me: I am going to graduate school, studying fashion at Kenyatta University.

Obama: (a quizzical look on his face appears, he begins to form the question I have heard too many times) Why are you studying fashion in Kenya?

Me: I am interested in starting a global design community based on Indigenous design, sustainable. It is going to be great, you’ll see one day. It is going to be great.

Obama: smiled (I also told him I donated money to an earlier campaign, one that he lost. We laughed about that, well I laughed about it, I think he did too. Heck he became president of the United States so at some point he had to laugh about that.)

Lesson: Sometimes you have to yell to be seen. 

Kenya to Hudson Valley New York

After three years (it should have been two, finishing was delayed by teacher and student strikes in Kenya) I had my masters degree, I taught in Pittsburgh for a year but then ended up in New York City teaching at Parsons. I was based in the Hudson Valley, some people call it upstate, the people who do not live there. Hudson Valley people hate being called Upstate New York, they’ll point to a map of New York and say, “Does this look like UPstate?”  

It does not. 

Anyway, I would take the Metro North to NYC once a week to teach at Parsons and then I had my job in the Hudson Valley. That is also where I got my Nature Girl, Outdoor Life love going, hiking and all that stuff that. 

Later, I applied for and did not get a full time faculty job so I posted my resume online as a fashion marketing-merchandising college lecturer-professor. Universities in South Korea, India and Malaysia found and liked my resume. I was hoping for something in Brooklyn but anyway west, okay Asia was fine.  

I ended up in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. 

Malaysia (Bali, Indonesia and Singapore) to Kenya 

I signed a two-year contract as Senior Lecturer at a college in Malaysia. (No I had never been there) they paid for me relocation travel. Again, there’s a lot to talk about here but suffice to say the best thing about teaching in Malaysia we’re the students I met, some of my colleagues and being able to travel throughout Asia. 

The contract included a return trip to the United States. What I learned from teaching full-time for two years, is that I did not want to teach full-time. What I mean by that is that I went to graduate school to become a designer, not a teacher. I would talk about this idea for this “sustainable collaboration with Indigenous designers, something global” so much a fellow lecturer from the jewelry department kind of snapped one day and said, “Tereneh stop talking about it and just DO IT!”

I think he may have added, “I don’t want to hear about it again until you tell me you have a plan.”

My plan:  

Have the college fly me to Kenya instead back to the United States, most of the people I saw in Malaysia were convinced I lived in “Africa” anyway, although like in most of the world, I saw evidence of global impact and influence of Black American culture, the college was happy to accommodate this request. The flight was also cheaper. 

Kenya and etc.

So in late 2013 I found myself in Kenya, in Olorgesailie. I had one teaching paycheck I was living off of as the money ticked down (at least I had a plane ticket back to the United States). I worked with the Maasai community two-hours south of Nairobi. The women in the community agreed to work with me even though I could not pay them. I told them I would go to the United States and raise the money, come back and pay them. 

A miracle in some sense, but I also spent a couple months in the village in a hut, sitting with the women every day until the agreed to talk to me.  Then until they agreed to work with me. 

In 2014 I raised money from crowdfunding campaigns to go back to Kenya. The first thing I did was pay the women for their time from the winter of 2013. 

The travels from 2014 until now started with the crowdfunding campaigns to support the work of IdiaDega and the 35 Maasai women and two Oneida women I work in collaboration.  Successful crowdfunding led to grants.  

I am grateful for all of it.

Looking forward to seeing what other adventure awaits. 

Lesson: Creating your own community, especially creative, is another form of family and friendship. 

https://www.idiadega.com/